dude...seriously though...i'm a retard, i flirt constantly, yet tonight when i had the attention of like every guy in the goddamn place, i hated it. all i really wanted was my jas, and he wasn't there, and then, i actually started thinking about how much i messed up and how much i wanted to see him...yesterday night i was all set that i was gonna be resolute and not call, but now i've called, and he didn't call me back...i feel dumb...does he actually like me? or am i just something for him to play with until he goes? what are we doing when he leaves? can i let myself be liking him? i dont really want to just be suddently ditched if i care and he just leaves me....i really do like him. i do. i really,, really do...i really dont care about much but him...god i'm such an idiot...i dont like to think