I tried to post the other day, but I just couldn't think of anything to write, I was totally fed up with how boring and blase my life was. I still think I haven't been particularly interesting lately, but I had some ideas and some time so I figured I'd write a bit.
My dad's been sick lately, he went into the hospital Saturday morning (i think). Some intestinal problem and he was really weak and they weren't sure what was wrong. He's just gone home today (Tuesday) and has to go back next week for a CT scan and another doctor's appt, they might have to remove his colon which sounds really gross to me, but it's better than not being able to do anything at all. Anyways, knowing my dad it'll turn out to be something really weird and he'll get over it and move on with things.
My experiments are going well when I'm able to do them. I went anemone collecting yesterday with Chris and Milena and got like 60 anemones without having to take the train! Yay! I'm annoyed cuz I had this special light rack made for my stuff and this guy in our lab was going to share it with me, but he sucks at sharing and seems to have claimed it for his own. I offered to have one made specially for his needs, but he said he didn't have time. Now I'm having one made for me and I'll just let him keep his. He's never here during the day, so I can never actually talk to him. It sounds silly but it's SO annoying to never be able to find my stuff or use the stuff that I made the effort to find. Blearghababble!!
I've got soccer training tonight and I am SO looking forward to going. Our coach isn't actually going to be there, but it's fun to hang out with the girls and work on getting back in shape. I'm hoping that I can motivate myself to do stuff on my own as well and maybe get a nice stomach back so that I can feel hot occasionally. We lost our last game, everyone just kinda played like crap (myself included). I haven't been playing well lately and I think it's partly cuz I haven't been going to training and partly because the team is different this year and I'm playing a new position.
I like music. When I do my experiments I am up in this little room that nobody can see into and I've got 30 min. that I have to wait during it. I usually just listen to music, but start to get really bored, so... yeah. I'm just waiting for the day that someone else walks in to find me dancing around the radioactive room like a looney. They'll think the radiation's gotten to me. Fun though. Been feeling kinda like crap all day, just down and it's hard to smile about things, but dancing around like a looney listening to music that I like really helps. Especially when my parents start texting and even my boy answered my text! Such exciting times!!
Yeah, so the last couple days I've been really really down. Once again I'm a bit of an emotional spaz and I'm not sure what to do about it. I think it mostly just makes stuff bother me more than usual. Though I did kinda realize that I put a lot of extra effort in for other people. I go out of my way to make things easier/nicer for them, but nobody ever does it for me. I'm not saying I want people to do things for me, but well, sometimes it would be nice to know that someone cares about me being happy enough to take their own initiative and surprise me. Surprises are funny things for me. I dated someone long ago who liked to do that nice stuff for me all the time and I loved it. I loved feeling loved, feeling cared for, but it almost got to be too much and it was almost predictable for me. As soon as it becomes predictable I don't like it as much. The next person I dated then told me that he would never do anything "romantic" (as surprises often kinda are) because I had ruined it by telling him that I had a habit of predicting surprises or nice things the guy before would do for me. He eventually did do lots of little surprising things, though I think I did more. It was pretty good. Maybe it's just my niche to go out of my way to make people's days better but never have mine made better "just because". I think "just because" is one of the best reasons ever for getting something for someone or doing something special for them. It's dumb that we only do nice things for people on certain days.
Yes I'm rambling. I have an hour to waste...i promise i wont ramble for the whole thing.
Has anyone else ever noticed how amazing it feels when someone starts smiling because of something you've done or said? Especially when they keep smiling for hours because of it. Nothing like that happens to me. Maybe that's why I have so much trouble smiling. Maybe I just don't notice those things because I'm so keyed in on them that I miss 'em when they come.
Anywhoooo...i think that's it for now.