I can't believe it's February! Really. It's amazing. I've been here 7 months and counting. Never been away from the States for so long before. I've had such a great week. From Saturday (The day of kayaking and such) it's just been good. Sunday I didn't do much. Kinda hung around and relaxed. Monday I worked and then went running at night. I felt so awesome after I'd gone running, I was lying in bed enjoying the simple feeling of the sheets on my skin. Something about running and being active and being outside...getting the blood flowing and the air in my lungs just made everything feel so awesome. Tuesday I was SO sore! But it was still awesome. Of course, I've had a cold all week and sounded like a man at work, but even with the cold, it's been good. Wednesday night Alex and I went out. Didn't do much, did some dancing, went to the fucking Kumara. I fucking hate that place, but I survived and actually had an interesting realization. It really is all about confidence, something which I am really working on now. Today I did some shopping, ran some errands, then fell asleep and read some. Then I went climbing at the gym down by the water and then went for a run. I'm exhausted! My wrists, arms, and fingers are so tired! Then I ran so my legs are exhausted, and of course after I got back I did my crunches and push-ups so all of me is tired. So ready for sleep, but I feel awesome. Of course, I still look like shit, but it just feels so nice to be active and work out. Makes me feel alive and so much more confident. It is ALL about confidence, and I will be confident. I realized that a confident ugly girl is still ugly, but the difference between an average girl and a hot girl could be simply attributed to confidence in many cases. Therefore, confidence is my new goal. That and listening more than I talk. And being compassionate. And doing my best to believe that love still exists, though that last one is difficult. and now i think i'm going to go to bed. i'm fucking tired. = )
yay!