i just watched joe dirt. i'm envious of the chick in that movie. Brittany something-or other. She's just really beautiful. no, this is not one of those posts where i sit here and winge about being ugly or feeling ugly or any of that stupid shit. i just wish i were beautiful like her, in that way that pretty much everyone who sees "you" thinks you're really pretty. i s'pose i shouldn't complain, i'm not exactly ugly, but eh..i should just shut up. nevermind = P
i'm putting a ban on myself. i'm not allowed to go to the grocery store for at least a week. i've been there 3 days in a row now, and every time i've bought something i didnt need, and spent way more money than i ever mean to. today i bought cottage cheese and yogurt. yeah, nice snack, but what the hell? i didnt need it. definitely ain't gonna help me "eat healthier" in a feeble attempt to stop gaining weight. i wonder how most people manage to eat healthy when living alone. it's so hard because nothing healthy is sold in single serving sizes, except weird, expensive frozen shit and i'd rather cook for myself. i mean, i could just eat a lot of veggies and noodles, which i'll prolly eventually get back to anyways, but then there's no meat. i try to have meat at least once every two weeks, which probably isn't enough. it's so much more fun to eat real food when there's someone else around to either cook for, or just to eat with.
ever wonder why we lie to people, or maybe not lie, but simply not tell them things? the "secrets" i keep would probably not affect anybody in any way, and yet i feel so wrong that i keep them quiet. makes me feel like i'm sneaking around or something, which i'm really not doing. i need more close friends here that i feel i can actually tell these things to. i'm gonna start driving my confidants crazy cuz i just keep going on about stuff. i only keep doing that because i dont feel like i can tell anybody here without feeling horrible about myself and such. really. people say i can talk to them, they dont even know what i would tell them. gah.
so for the bar, we're making this sandwich board sign thing to go out in the street and be advertising thingy for us, but when boss-man was putting the logo sticker on one side of it, it got fucked up and it needed to be taken off and a new one put on. unfortunately, this task is similar to picking a HUGE price tag off something. takes a lot of scraping with the thumbnail and it comes off in tiny bits. this sticker is like a square foot, it's not small. so this board is now at my house, and when i'm watching tv or movies or just lazy, i can sit there and pick at the board. today i got off a 4"x4" patch in about 4 hours of picking at it. very frustrating, but i will finish it and it will be beautiful! i wish it were a weekend. having work at night gives me something to do. maybe tomorrow night i'll go out on the town. by myself. i suppose i could also text gillian and see what she's up to. i'm afraid to go out by myself. i wouldn't know what to do with myself, just sit there at the bar with a drink? that would definitely leave me open for people to come up to me and chat, but i'm not sure i'd know what to do then. i've proven that i cant freakin say no when someone asks for my number, a fact that i hate! and am working on. i think going out by myself would be a bad idea. though i should do it anyways. just for the experience. we'll see. i'm going to go running tomorrow. i need to get some sort of active routine-ish thing. tempting to go work on the boat tomorrow, but i still find the idea of showing up at boss-mans house and sitting out in his backyard sanding is a little weird, but maybe i'll get my shit together and go do that, it's definitely something to pass the time, i'd get to be outside, and i'd even be working out my arms! ooh..i could take the cable car up to the botanic gardens and then just run to boss-mans house. as long as i took 2 bucks for bus fare back, that'd be a decent run. a couple miles and then sand for a while. hmmm....i'll have to think about this.
damn, i'm obviously bored and should stop typing. typing is therapeutic though. anybody else ever notice that? i do have one thing on my mind. something that might be a big worry, but i doubt it. i'm just gonna give that one some time though, and do my very best not to worry about it at all. i really should stop now though. i will conclude with pictures from tramping around with alex and thomas.the coast

alex on the beach

the three of us on a big dead tree = )