oh, i talked to joe. i haven't talked to him in FOREVER! it was good to catch up and see what he's up to. he prolly believed, like many do, that i didnt care anymore. i actually really care about what he's up to and have been quite curious about how he's liking life in chico. i wonder how many random ass people i would talk to if i drank all the time. i was tempted to IM neil faustino from WAY back when, still tempted actually, but i dont even know what i'd say, or if he'd know who i was!
i feel like an alien! i'm always talking about where i'm from and nobody knows where it is. it's almost like i'm from another planet!
hmm...strange night. i went over to the bar tonight. tomorrow night (friday) we're having a HUGE gig at the bar. advance electric is having their big end-of the year banquet/drinking thing at our bar. they have like a $10,000 tab and are drinking a shit load of corona and stella artois. we have 108 cases of corona!!! holy shit it's a lot of beer!! today i got to move all the stuff around in the fridges so that we basically look like we only have 2 kinds of beer. they're the only kinds on the tab. very boring work. though as usual, after doing the very boring work , i feel as if i own the fridges and now when we switch to the stuff they want on saturday night, i feel like i want to be the only one arranging stock in the fridge, though i know boss-man will prolly just do it on his own and i wont be involved at all. dude. i'm looking forward to tomorrow night. i really want to dress cute. i mean, i like my clothes, but i need a top that's just uhh...need a word....hot? i dunno. i dont ever feel hot, sometimes i feel mildly attractive, but i'd like to wear a top that a "hot" girl would wear. i'm thinking of buying one tomorrow. we'll see though. i actually ahve a lot to do tomorrow. i have a doctors appt. at 10am (just to get a prescription, i'm not dying, not yet at least = P) i have to feed my anemones at some point, gotta post the x-mas gifts for my cousins, hoping to do some shopping, and i have to be down at the bar at 4:30 to cut more limes and lemons. my favorite! gah.
wish i were actually "hot". the other day, boss-man asked adam (sub-9 boss man) if the girls he was hiring were "hot". His reply "well, she's attractive, but not really hot, if you know what i mean, she doesn't have the perfect body..." they then launched into a conversation about how she wasn't hot, but not ugly....and so forth. man i wish i could hear what people have ot say aobut me. makes me want to dress all slutty all the time, just so people could see what i have to offer. (wow, i think that was cocky of me to say). i think i might be embarassed of this post later. oh well. = )
"she's got a serrated edge that she moves back and forth. it's such a simple machine she doesn't have to use force. when she gets what she wants, she puts the rest on a tray, in a ziploc bag....in the freezer". god that song reminds me of chris loo. actually...all Cake songs remind me of him. i think he must've been at that concert i went to and saw them! = P man those were fun times. he's on my buddy list and one of my friends on facebook, but i really want to talk to him someday. he's such an adorable guy and i always want to know what he's up to and how he's doing and such. i love people who amuse me and such. the first shot i EVER had was at his house. he had some kind of alcohcol hidden in his closet. it might have been vodka! and he had an inflatable queen amadala chair in his room! i had a crush on him for like 3 weeks. funny stuff. you know, i have to say that high school was really fun. i spent about 2 years of it being lonely and seen as "a guy" and then i met ricky and traci and everything was just so much fun. we ate cheese, we ran, we went swimming, we made funny noises, we smiled, we laughed...we laughed a lot. man i wish i could make things right with traci. i feel like i never did. we had so much fun it's just so wrong the way things ended up. next time i see her online, i'm gonna drink a fucking bottle of wine and actually talk to her. seriously! it's so stupid! (kidding)
damn...second really long post in as many days. i SO said that i was gonna start posting more cuz it's summer and i dont have that much to do. i really wonder who actually reads this. someone once mentioned something about google, or gmail leading them here, so that kind of worries me.
"as soon as you're born you start dying, so you might as well have a good time"...it's a good point, really. my toes are numb. wow, that's one of the first times i've ever actually deleted an entire idea from my blog. it was the right choice though = P good time. how does one define having a "good time". i think one should enjoy as much of life as possible, but definitely not enjoy all of it. if someone is enjoying all of their life, how do they know that they are enjoying it? i mean, if you're never unhappy, then you can't possibly know what it is to enjoy something.
man, i'm a bit ADD eh?
k, this post is long, ADD, and slightly inebriated. funny thing is that it doesn't really address AT ALL the small things that are actually on my mind. one of them should be resolved tomorrow. the other i've made a bet with myself to see how long i can keep it in jeopardy, which means that it'll generally be around for a while.
weird to think that in a weird way i would've had an opportunity for E but i won't actually be around. wonder what i would've chosen to do. discovery is a journey that we all have decisions to make about...
earlier today i said "sweet jesus". damn that reminded me of zach! i wonder what he's up to and how he's doing! i randomly wonder about people from my "former life". this is prolly a really really long post and i wonder if anyone will actually read it. i figure that the only reason people would ever read this is complete boredom. that means that they just want to be entertained, right? well if that's the case, here's some entertainment for you:
wait...nevermind, my life is too boring to provide entertainment, and my brain could provide entertainment, but i'm too embarassed to admit anything my brain does so you're shit out of luck. sorry.
i'm never going to vegas.
damn my legs are actually really really smooth tonight! damn the guy that missed out on feeling this! it doesn't happen that often!! mm...guess i'll just have to enjoy it myself. though i'm not sure how...it's not that great....oh well...
i really should go to bed. and i should do that without sending any texts...hahah..yeah right = P
hahaha...reminder #7 in my cell phone: "Parallel universe of hot girls"
i s'pose i should mention that i have a habit of putting reminders on my phone when i'm inebriated. what the hell was i thinking/talking about that night??!?! = P
is it weird that i think 1:08am is to early to go to bed?
i wonder if anyone can tell me why i was so upset earlier tonight? i was upset enough to cry. almost in front of people too...that's just weird for me. especially since i'm not really sure what it was all about. maybe i'm jsut confused and feel that i have nobody i can talk to. it's true. i have friend back home that i know i could tell anything and they wouldn't judge mean and would offer advice. but i need someone who's around here and can give me advice based on observation....that person doesn't exist. fuck. that just makes me sad. oh well...i'll live...
sweet dreams all....
i think that's a dead penguin.
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