maybe jas was right. maybe i am in fact a horrible human being. i sure feel it right now, and i probably shouldn't but it's so not me. it's also strange to think that even though i feel like a crap person, i've been feeling a bit more confident lately. as i walked home from the gym this morning, i knew i looked like crap, my hair was sticking out all over the place, i was wearing my work pants that dont really fit and my black jacket and wifebeater....i knew i looked like crap, but i still made eye contact with people and kept my head up instead of staring at the ground as i often do. it was actually kind of strange.
i got like 2 hours of sleep last night, but i'm not really tired now. it's been a strange couple days, i went from not eating anything and not being hungry to eating a shitload of banana pancakes (yum!!!) and pizza (yum!!). from having energy and being hyper to feeling like i can barely get out of bed and wondering how i'm going to make it up to campus later, much less make it out to collect anemones.
man i feel like a bad person.
i'm tired
gonna go put all the dishes in the dishwasher and tidy up a bit in the other room...i'm thinking i may try to stay up and not take my post-work morning nap so that i can actually sleep tonight, though i dont know how much it would help. haven't been able to sleep for a while. one stupid recurring nightmare when i do get to sleep. i feel bad for the random friends from home that i catch online and blabber to forever. sorry!
wow..that was a cheery post.
yesterday anne and i went to a cricket game. it is the most boring, pointless, strange game ever. lets see...we figured out that there was the hoppy, skippy guy, a big, a gymnast, and that the sweaters were fucking funny. we basically sat there and laughed at stuff for like 3 hours. and froze our asses off. i actually semi-understand the game of cricket, though exactly why i do, i dont know. it's really pointless, nobody really watches it except at the international level, it's a bunch of guys standing around on a field and then one of em runs and skips and hops and throws a ball at some guy who, if he hits it, runs about 20 ft. to score. i mean, baseball is stupid too, but that brings in money and people go to little league games and stuff...this is like...green grass, guys in all white with little sweater-vests and baggy hats. who fall over every time the ball comes near them to make sure they stop it. why do they even play it? so weird!
fuck i'm tired...maybe i'll put the dishes in the dishwasher later...
i have a sore throat, hope i'm not getting sick. it sucks to be sick. we'll see though, wont we!
blah