So, I know I already posted tonight, but I just read through my entire blog from start to finish and I found it unbelievably interesting. To see how I was, how I acted and to bring back the memories of those times and noticing what i was careful to omit. Made me laugh. Also made me think. Really makes me think about the past. We each have our own past and they remain private. Our pasts remain more private than some things that we say are "private". Looking back at all that stuff, I wonder how I turned out the way I did, and if i told someone my past, would it be accurate? or would i just tell them what i wanted them to hear? or, if i managed to tell it mostly unbiased, would they get out of it what i did? would they have any more of an understanding of me?
it was also strange cuz i could see the progression of me from that person 2.5 years ago, to who I am (mostly) today. Knowing what I know now, I can see me becoming "jaded" as i say. I still think I'm pretty incapable of actually liking anyone. and definitely not capable of loving anyone at this point. i feel like i could, i suppose, if someone were patient with me and tried to understand where i'm coming from. i've always been a shitty girlfriend, and i actually think i'm afraid of putting any other poor soul through being with/dealing with me. sad? meh. = )
hmm...the RA just came in, why do they all just walk in? strange. very strange. that one came in and told anne not to go drinking. what an idiot = P
kay, now i'm distracted...maybe more on this some other time
oops, need the random pic: ZacH