Gar!
why on earth do i do symphony? everytime i go i come home upset, frustrated and generally pissed off. i used to be good at oboe. now i sound like shit, i'm only allowed to play in the parts where nobody would hear me (whats the fucking point of that?) and i dont know how to fix it. i've been practicing more, it seems that the more i practice, the shittier i sound. it's really, really pissing me off. i never seem to have any reeds that are any good, i cant make my own cuz i'm too much of a fucking retard, so i just sound like shit, and i know i sound like shit...what the fuck?!?!
i cant quit though, it's such a part of my life...and i love playing on those rare occasions where i have a good reed and feel like i sound okay...like this last weekend for a little while it was really fun...then the reed started dying and i sounded like a fucking dying giraffe trying to have sex with a duck that was in the middle of strangling to death...argh!!!
on another note...i messed up
on yet another note....my espm paper is gonna be done, and it'll be okay
i agreed to present it on thursday, so i have to add a powerpoint presentation to the other stuff to do, but it doesn't have to be elaborate cuz it's not really graded...
my music paper hasn't been touched, but will be begun again in earnest on thursday night...
i found out on monday that i have a 5 page paper due wednesday in my eps 185 class...not too long, but more work nontheless....yeargh!!
guess i should get to work...