Sometimes I wonder what goes on in my head. If it really is how they say and I don't have enough of some receptors or enough of that seratonin crap or something like that....i cant remember. in any case...it seems that when i start a day good and feeling extra happy, it ends with me being down in the shit-hole for no real reason. like right now for instance...i really was looking forward to spending a long evening with jas. i was even teasing him about it earlier. and now it's like he doesn't want to hang out. i offered to cook for him and he said i couldn't cuz he didnt want me eating his food. i wasn't planning on eating it...i just wanted to prove to him that i could cook...and i know i'm kinda clueless sometimes when it comes to computers, but i feel like a complete retard. i dont know where any of my system cds are of anything like that, plus i dont know which applications are which or anything like that....my computer is having issues, so i'm trying to just get everything on cd, since i dont really know where anything is. rah....tomorrow i'm supposed to head to the dmv to get a drivers license or something, maybe i'll somehow be able to prove that i'm 21 on my 21st bday..wouldn't that be great. i hate bdays in college. i always have. i always end up really down and lonely and stuff....i dont doubt that it's going to be more of the same this year. technically i'm supposed to be going light on the alcohol cuz of my ne wprescroption, but whatever. people think i'm lame and stuff if i dont drink...besides, i dont really think it's a big deal if i drink. it's weird, earlier today i felt invincible, like i could take on anything, and now i want to go to bed and just sleep for the next million years. whacko! someday i'll write a stream of conciouncness in here cuz i think the way i think is really funny, bu tnot now, too negative and people out there don't know that i'm not that happy joyous person all the time...although it's been a bit more obvious recently...o well...such is life, eh?
hey, at least we beat U$C...of course...i had to miss the overtimes, such is life, eh? gah....my room's kinda clean, but i still feel unorganized, kinda like i'm floating through, hangin on by a thread...yeah...looks like the night may pick up after all = P hehe...